While it’s technically more cinematic than literary, I couldn’t resist posting this spoof preview of Dangerous Wands. Enjoy!

This article is meant to coincide with the release of James Cameron’s Avatar. I’ve already seen it, thirty seconds at a time.

Is there some thing(s) wrong with the movie industry? Aren’t movies made like they used to be? Or aren’t people entertained like they used to be? The thrill of going to the movies has arguably been on the decline for years now, and many blame the overuse of special effects, the dumbing down of blockbusters, the existence of blockbusters, and the poorness of contemporary professional moviemakers, among other things. Believe what you want. For me, just one thing ruins the experience. Overexposure.

The Internet Movie Database has been a biblical source of cinema genealogy to me for years. When I hear someone ask, ‘Who the heck is that guy?’ I respond, ‘That’s Ted Raimi, the director’s brother. Haven’t you noticed his bit parts in all of Sam’s movies? You can also recognize him as the satellite specialist who helps Harrison Ford analyze the impact crater in Clear and Present Danger.’ Yes, IMDB has helped me a lot, introducing me to Rose Byrne, Alison Lohman, and Alex Reid from The Descent, rekindling my fondness for Michael Wincott, leading me to believe Channing Tatum had chops, and warning me about the fake ending to The Descent.

But it’s got to stop…

All the online attention given to movies these days has made the industry more of a source of entertainment than the products it makes. Instead of focusing on the movies and learning tidbits about the production, people have become more interested in the making of the movies than the stories they tell. This could be a result of people’s long fascination with the wonders and mysteries of moviemaking; newer technological trends and communications have made it easier to learn about things that were secrets for years. And now the nerds who’ve wanted to know these things for so long, and who must put everything online (wait a minute…), are trafficking their movie gossip daily, destroying the magical aura that once made the movies so irresistable.

Time to rebel!

The rampant overexposure of unreleased movies has caused me to create a list of upcoming movies that I refuse to learn about. Movies that I cannot have spoiled for me. If the studios won’t stop the action- and plot-ruining previews that get more desperate the closer the release date comes, 5-minute exclusive clips, behind-the-scenes special effects features, online spoilers, backlot politics, cast interviews, and red-band trailers, then it’s up to me to take the initiative, and just ignore all that jazz. So listen up, studios, here’s a handful of movies, in no particular order, that are guaranteed to make you eight bucks each.

1. Inception, Christopher Nolan
   I love everything from Christopher Nolan, from Following to The Dark Knight. Warner Brothers actually did an amazing job of cloaking The Dark Knight in spite of the media storm it created, and released one of the most shocking and awe-inspiring movies ever experienced. With Inception, another relatively under-the-radar buffer between Batman movies, Nolan ventures into the wide world of physics (well, after The Prestige) to give us…uh… something fricking amazing, I bet. One teaser trailer online; it’s all I’m allowed.
2. Predators, Nimrod Antal
   Producer Robert Rodriguez wants to do a Predator movie. Antal directs Armored, which is out right now and appears mediocre. Predators transports a motley crew of humans to the Predator homeworld, which has pressed me to speed up my own Predator story before my imagination is stained by Rodriguez’s vision. He’s a dynamic guy, but hopefully Antal can make it his own. That’s it for politics. See ya next summer!
3. Tree of Life, Terrence Malick
   I’ve appreciated all of his movies, but none more than The Thin Red Line. I love it, which is ironic. I first saw it as a young teen, expecting lots of action, and was disappointed. Now it’s helped me become a competitive non-blinker. Tree of Life’s plot description on IMDB says something about a boy experiencing the loss of innocence. Thanks, volunteer speculator, let’s leave it at that.
4. The World’s End, Edgar Wright
   The end of the Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy. I fear that Simon Pegg and crew are getting dangerously close to alienating their original fan base by venturing into American humor (Paul with Seth Rogen?), so hopefully The World’s End rings true for Shaun, Fuzz, and Spaced fans. Has something to do with the color green. Enough worrying.
5. Trick’r Treat 2, Michael Dougherty
   The preview for Trick ‘r Treat (link is to a book) accompanied 300 in 2006. It was unceremoniously dumped on DVD this past October. And it’s utterly fantastic. Blame those stupid politics. Giving into a craving, I learned that Michael wants to do a sequel. And that’s all I’ll learn. See you at Halloween, Sam! If I don’t follow the rules…
6. The Hobbit, Guillermo Del Toro
   May be a lost cause. I’ll need a diver’s suit to avoid the buzz. It’s deafeningly annoying online, and once the release date for the first part approaches, I’ll have to forfeit television (gladly!) and any interaction with fellow nerds. Then repeat in a year.
7. 28 _____s Later, Danny Boyle (?)
   Giving in to temptation again, I found rumors that the 28 Days Later series will be rounding third sometime in the near future, even though the second didn’t leave many options open. If Danny returns, we could expect a gleefully sadistic return to form for the now internationally acclaimed Oscar winner. Not that Slumdog was bad, I just like his other stuff better. And he just seems like such a nice guy.

Honorable mentions:

• Centurion, Neil Marshall
• Hannibal the Conquerer, Vin Diesel (!)
• Next Batman movie, Christopher Nolan (?)
• Alien prequel, Ridley Scott
• Halo, Someone, someday, maybe…
• Tony Jaa’s American debut (?)
• Next Terminator movie, McG (?)
• Sergei Bodrov’s followups to Mongol
• Guy Ritchie’s followups to Rock’nRolla

I’m sure I’ll scrounge up some more someday!

-Patrick, Schuler Books

Looking for the perfect gift for the book-y in your life? Let some of your favorite authors tell you what’s on their list to give and receive!

Chris Bojalian, best-selling author of  11 novels, including Skeletons at the Feast, The Double Bind and The Buffalo Soldier, offered up a number of recommendations in his recent newsletter mailing (in which he also pumped the tour for his February release Secrets of Eden — No Michigan – Waaah!):

“I am asked often what I am reading.  Well, among the books that I particularly enjoyed this year and I can recommend for you and your families and friends are:

• Perfection, by Julie Metz
• Americans in Space, by Mary E. Mitchell
• Her Fearful Symmetry, by Audrey Niffenegger
• The Girl Who Played with Fire, by Stieg Larsson
• The Third Reich at War, by Richard J. Evans
• The Story Sisters, by Alice Hoffman
• Life Class, by Pat Barker”

Also Penguin has put together a promotion with a number of their authors giving recommendations for books to give and books to ask for! Click through to check out the video featuring Nick Hornby, Robert B. Parker, Kate Jacobs, and Frank Bruni as well as written recs from a ton of great authors!

We are pleased to announce that our Lansing area stores placed among the top winners in two recent publisher contests!

The first involved a contest sponsored by fantasy author and all-around-God Neil Gaiman. Neil challenged bookstores to throw Halloween parties for his Newbery award-winning title The Graveyard Book: Submit a video of the party and Neil would pick his favorite. Winner would earn a bookstore appearance and signing with Neil. (swoon.)

According to Neil, about 40 bookstores entered and his publisher Harper Collins narrowed it down to the top 11 entries. After what seems to have been a harrowing decision, Neil decided to grant author visits to two winners. Unfortunately Schuler came in “first place” after the two Grand Prize winners, but we are still thrilled to have placed that high! (Besides, think about it — Neil Gaiman spent time contemplating our Okemos store! Schuler is now firmly on his radar, which can only bode well for future tours!)

Here’s the video we submitted of the party:

Our Lansing location (in the Eastwood Towne Center) recently took third place in a display contest sponsored by Quirk Classics for their monster mash-up title Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters! Prize was $100 (going to the staff holiday party!) and 5 signed copies of S&S&S. Once received, we’ll have a drawing for 4 of those copies (one to the display-maker – *wink*) at the Eastwood store. Keep your eyes here for details.

Sorry the blog has been so silent lately, but we’ve all been slammed by the holiday rush that is retail in November and December!

In the meantime, here’s a great gift suggestion for you:

The Onion, dubbed the “funniest publication in the United States” by the New Yorker, has long been a balm for the sore souls of people like me, who can only take so much of the disaster-peddling that is called the modern media scene. Anything that can turn CNN-inspired despair to laughter is greatly appreciated in my world, and the Onion is always spot on.

David Sedaris is recommending last year’s Onion book, Our Dumb World, during his current tour, but there’s also the new release Our Front Pages: 21 Years of Greatness, Virtue, and Moral Rectitude from America’s Finest News Source, in time for hilarious holiday gift-giving, which compiles the front pages (duh) of the paper from its youth as a free campus weekly through its 21-year evolution to the mock-media powerhouse it is today.  Printed in a large format in full color, this makes the perfect present: Give it to a relative and then spend a good chunk of the holidays reading it to each other in tears.

–Whitney

Finally finished the latest Stephen King “Under the Dome.”  This is no mean feat considering it’s 1070 pages long.  I’m not complaining.  I would much rather have a book of this length to tide me over for a week, than a 200 page sprint from a favorite author, that just leaves my begging for more.  My poor husband, my poor children, they all know better. Don’t bother mom when a new Stephen King, Matthew Reilly, Douglas Preston, Lee Child, Jeffery Deaver book comes out.  All parenting, canoodling, cooking, cleaning stops.  (I went to knitting group yesterday, and it took every ounce of strength I had not to bring that damn book)

Being that it’s a very long book, it goes pretty quick.  Not sure if Steve-o is as big of an Ayn Rand fan as I am, but caught some glimmers of “Atlas Shrugged” near the end.  Also very evident is a “Lord of the Flies” mentality that occurs throughout the whole book.  It’s even brought up once.

Midway through the book, a very pleasant appearance from, the one and only, Jack Reacher, of Lee Child fame.  Love this character, and it brought a big smile to my face to have one of my favourite authors use another one of my favourite authors best character in his book.  Makes me wonder…does Stephen call up Lee and say, “Would it be okay if I used this guy in passing in my latest book?”  How does that work?  There are other authors who do this, and I find it fascinating.  If anybody hasn’t read the Lee Child books.  Go for it.  Jack Reacher is the best.  I’d want him on my side.

Back to “Under the Dome”.  Not sure how to classify it, not quite horror, mystery, thriller or sci-fi.  Kind of a mix of all of them.  Huge cast of characters, hard to keep track of, but he does provide you with a character list at the front of the book.  New ground for Mr. King.  Also new, no blurbs on either front or back jacket cover, no picture of Mr. King either.  Interesting? Odd?  You be the judge.  Of course, it takes place in Maine, though not Castle Rock.  After reading some 30 books, I have no desire to ever move to Maine.  If nothing else, the imagination tends to run a little wild there.

If they make this into a movie, let’s just hope not.  No Molly Ringworm, no Gary Sinise, no Jamie Sheridan, though Rob Lowe would make an excellent Baarbie.  Please no made for tv movies.  If necessary have Frank Darabont, or Rob Reiner direct.

Lastly, Tabitha King should be nominated for sainthood.  You’ve got my vote lady.  How you’ve managed for 40 (I think that’s right, I know your oldest daughter and she’s just about my age) yrs, is beyond my comprehension.

I have a staggering stack of books to get to, which shall I chose next?  New Vince Flynn or new Michael Connolly?

We’re bummed that Michigan authors Bonnie Jo Campbell and David Small didn’t get the final nod, but we’re proud to have two Michigan authors as finalists for the 2009 National Book Awards!

They announced the winners last night as:

Fiction: Colum McCann Let the Great World Spin

Nonfiction: T. J. Stiles The First Tycoon: The Epic Life of Cornelius Vanderbilt

Poetry: Keith Waldrop Transcendental Studies: A Trilogy

Young People’s Literature: Phillip Hoose Claudette Colvin: Twice Toward Justice

Distinguished Contribution to American Letters: Gore Vidal

Literarian Award: Dave Eggers

The Best of the National Book Awards Fiction: The Complete Stories By Flannery O’Connor

Schuler Books is happy to present our newly acquired Espresso Book Machine, a patented high-speed automatic book making machine. In a few minutes it can print, bind and trim a high-quality paperback book complete with a full-color cover. These books are indistinguishable from paperbacks produced by major publishing companies.

With the Espresso Book Machine, we are able to print books from a growing catalog of 3.8 million books, including in-copyright, public domain and out-of-print titles. Two million of these titles are public domain Google Books. Thanks to the Espresso Book Machine, books long out-of-print are once again available.

The machine is environmentally friendly: books are produced locally, therefore reducing the carbon footprint of the books.

The machine provides authors with an easy way to get published. Whether you have written a novel, a collection of poems, a family genealogy, a cookbook, a memoir or a dissertation, you will be able to get printed copies of your book thanks to the flexible and affordable self-publishing services we are now offering.

For more information about our self-publishing services, please check the following PDFs:
Submission Guidelines
Self Publishing Services
Additional Services

If you have any questions regarding the EBM, the availability of a print-on demand or out-of-print title in the machine database or our self-publishing services, please contact us at printondemand@schulerbooks.com or call Pierre at 616-942-7330 x558.

A beautiful Sunday, and I am inside.   It does mean that I am reading though.  As promised I did finish the prequel to “Black Friday” by Alex Kava.  ”Exposed” is a lovely book about Ebola.  Relevant now, with all the H1N1 germs flying around.  Scary how easy it is to whip my overactive imagination into an absolute frenzy.  I enjoyed the book more than the first one I read.  Maybe because it has some relevance now.  Same cast of characters.  Well drawn and believable, though I question whether FBI profilers can pull profiles out of their hats like that.   It did make me want to go reread “The Hot Zone” by Richard Preston.  I was telling my thirteen year old son about that book, scared me very badly.  I don’t consider myself a conspiracy nut, but I do find it incredibly plausible that our government is ever willing to cover things up, for the good of the country of course.  I guess that begs another question, how are authors able to be so far ahead of us readers?  Nelson DeMille’s seems to be frighteningly accurate about what is happening now a days.  (He is a big Phillip Roth fan I bet)  I always used to think that if I were to invest in the stock market, I just needed to find out what Michael Crichton was working on and invest in that. (Nanotechnology anyone?)  Steve Alten, made my jaw drop with “The Shell Game.”  I worry about his safety.  After that book I wonder if he always looks over his shoulder.  Currently reading the latest Stephen King.  surprisingly at 1000+ pages it is going quite quickly.  He says in the afterwords that is actually pared down from its original length.  Yikes!  Again, even though it’s a different cast of characters, I feel like some of them could be people I know, my neighbors, co-workers, family.  He does have a unique knack for “normal” everyday prose.  He writes like I think or speak.  I like that in a writer.  Makes me think that writing a book might not be so hard after all.  (I am joking.  Mr. King actually started this book in 1976, I guess that speaks for itself.)

I am thinking I need to read something really eloquent and informative on sibling rivalry right about now.  Both children are in their respective rooms, and I need to go mediate somehow.  And then I will read more…

Last week a co-worker handed me a copy of Wanted: Bear Cubs for My Children, and I was immediately sold by the utterly awesome premise: “author and agitator” Gary Fingercastle spent several years posting absolutely ridiculous mock advertisements on Craig’s List and gathering the even more ridiculous responses he received.

Think of the most repellent thing you can. Gary has probably posted an ad offering to give it away for free, and someone somewhere actually wants it. Collectible action figures eaten by a dog and left exactly how the dog later deposited them? Someone wants them.  Free half-eaten tortilla with the skillet-burned face of Ronald Reagan? Ditto.

Want someone to give you STDs so you can curse an ex? Gary found someone to do it.  He also asked for people to work as human crash test dummies, to tattoo his fictitious 12-year-old daughter and to fashion shock collars for kids, with replies to all and more.

Serious laugh-out-loud material!